Sunday, May 16, 2010

Random whinings - TV Edition

I watch too much TV.

TV always makes me feel like I am inadequate and that I am not shaving enough places.

Schick has a new razor blade that splashes coolness in your face. Fine, but to me it just looks like if I use the blade I’ll get a facial.

Thank heavens for advertising! Without advertising I would never know what things I don’t own and can’t afford and if I purchased them would only disappoint me. Thank heavens for Twinkies which in 48 years have only disappointed twice.Once in 1983 and again last week.

I wonder about reality TV. Actually I don’t, I wonder about reality TV people. Do we really need reality TV on the Golf channel? And if so, then why is it more interesting than the golf?

Only in a culture full of obese people would there be a channel dedicated to food. In the emerging nations they call it the Torture TV. Here are more foods which not only you can’t eat but which we will waste in front of you. Have a nice day.

Yes TV. The first thing I look for in a woman is beautiful underarms.

Depends undergarments in designer colours? Now I have a reason to get old!

Exactly how much does a regis philbin and exactly how much should I tip?

I keep hearing that America has an epidemic of obesity yet the only TV show that reflects the reality is “The Biggest Loser” where they make fun of fat people till they lose weight. Or something.